


Alien Marriage Rituals

by JaneyKatherineHummingbird



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alien Rituals, F/M, Genderswap, Misunderstanding, silliness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-12
Updated: 2017-08-12
Packaged: 2018-12-14 15:58:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11786532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JaneyKatherineHummingbird/pseuds/JaneyKatherineHummingbird
Summary: A short little take on the aliens made them get married trope featuring Jamie Kirk and Leonard McCoy.





	Alien Marriage Rituals

“Spock, why are they trying to kill Bones?!” Jamie yelled frantically as she and the away team ran to rescue the doctor, who’d suddenly been seized by the native guards and was currently being dragged away under great protest. The words they were shouting had been translated as “Death to the defiler!” according to Uhura. 

“Lieutenant Uhura is questioning councilman Silias as we speak,” the commander assured her. “I suspect it may be a cultural misunderstanding as the doctor did nothing that I know would cause offense. However, given this is a first contact, we are far from fully understanding their culture.”

Misunderstanding turned out to be an understatement as they discovered when they caught up to Silias, Uhura, and the heavily guarded Bones. One look at Uhura’s face and Jamie knew it was bad for her favorite CMO. 

“Captain, I’m afraid they saw Dr. McCoy and you very, uhm, closely communicating earlier and apparently, that’s taboo in their culture for unmarried couples. Basically, he’s facing severe punishment if he doesn’t marry you posthaste.” 

“Ummm…..” Jamie uttered in shock. This kind of thing had happened before, once with two Redshirts and memorably, Pike and Number One, but she’d never imagined it happening to her.

“Aliens Made Them Do It, Huh?” Sulu said with a grin. “I’ll be a witness, if you need one, Captain.” 

She made a face at her wisecracking pilot. Easy for him to say, he’d been happily married on his own free will, without the possibility of gruesome death. 

Several urgent conversations later, she’d come to the conclusion there really was only one thing to do. 

“Brace Yourself, Bones,” she called to her boyfriend, who still wasn’t allowed near her. “We’re getting married!” 

If Bones was upset by this, he didn’t dare show it due to the sharp looking spears surrounding him, but both eyebrows did the crazy dance thing she'd come to expect when he got freaked out. 

The wedding ritual was a whole hour long and involved Jamie and Leonard standing ten feet apart on raised stone platforms, which were on some sort of mechanism that moved them slowly closer and closer together throughout the ceremony until the priest declared the marriage official and they were allowed to join hands. 

“Don’t kiss,” Uhura had warned them. “That’s very, very, private in this culture.”

“What a way to get you back in the bonds of matrimony, huh, Bones?” Jamie teased him. Surprisingly, he didn’t groan or grimace at the thought as he’d used to whenever the topic had come up before. 

“Matter of fact, darlin’,” he said, hazel eyes pinned on her in the flowing ceremonial robe she was wearing, “I’ve been thinkin’ about tryin’ it again for awhile now. Just wasn’t sure how to back track all my haranguing against it. These aliens kind of did me a favor.”

“Really? So you’re not mad?”

“Not about the marriage. Being threatened with death is a whole other ballgame.” He shuddered slightly, switching back to the topic at hand. “It probably isn’t legal anyway, so we can fill out all the necessary forms if you’re unhappy about it.”

Jamie gave a shudder. “And willingly give myself MORE paperwork? No thanks. I don’t hate marriage to you nearly that much. Besides, It looks like they’re giving us some lovely honeymoon time.” 

She waggled her eyebrows as Bones shook his head. “You and your one track mind,” he said, holding her hand as the aliens escorted them to a private room.


End file.
